Many kids in India fluently speak more than one language. Raising a bilingual or multilingual child is a no brainer for some parents because their kids learn different languages without many efforts. But sadly it is not the case with many families.

I stayed in my hometown for 3 months after A’s birth. Everyone around us spoke my native; Marathi. Although she couldn’t understand any of it, she used to respond (mostly with a broad smile) to some specific words. My husband’s native is also Marathi but with a slight (and sometimes a considerable) variation. This variation is in terms of accent, word choice, or maybe sometimes even grammar. But we’re good as there’s no drastic difference. So the only language A knew was Marathi.

I came to Mumbai on A’s 3 months birthday. I remember one of our neighbors had come to see A. Aunty, our neighbor, was speaking to A in a tremendously joyful voice, but in Hindi! A kept staring at her face until she left the house. And that was the moment I knew A is going to be, rather have to be, a multilingual. She still shies away if any of my Hindi/English speaking friends try to talk to her; I instantly have to speak in Marathi with her to make her feel comfortable.

S and his siblings were brought up in Mumbai; surrounded by Hindi speaking people. So they all always speak Hindi at home. We often have conversations in English as well. I was aware of the benefits of raising a bilingual or multilingual child; such as better communication, a better cognitive function linked to problem-solving and critical thinking, a sense of cultural identity, and some health benefits as well. (Source: https://www.abc.net.au/kidslisten/ideas/earlylearning/benefits-of-being-a-bilingual-child/9442508 ). When I came to Mumbai, I thought it will be great that she will be exposed to three different languages so young! After all, raising a child in a multilingual family helps him/her become multilingual in a most natural way.

Everything was going smoothly until people started asking me if she had started speaking. Most of my friends’ babies are coevals with A and they all had started speaking a few words. I knew that every baby is different and that’s what I told everyone. I could see an immense physical development in A; she is much ahead of her age. But you know how we moms are – over thinkers! I couldn’t stop thinking of giving up on teaching her multiple languages and concentrating on one single language.

I had heard a story of one of my friend’s niece’s, who was 3-4 years old and who too was exposed to three different languages right from her birth but couldn’t speak a word in any language. Her pediatrician had asked them to use only one language, since apparently the use of different words, for one thing, was creating a huge confusion to her. And instead of learning by making mistakes, she chose not to speak at all. (Note: She is now 5-6 years old and a multilingual!)

When I had a word with A’s pediatrician; she assured me that there’s no problem with A as long as she is babbling and shouting. “Babies have their own preferences!”, that’s what she said and introduced me to ‘Language systems for bilingual kids’. I was thrilled to know that there are different systems developed especially to guide parents on raising a bilingual or multilingual child! Your child will eventually be able to speak all the languages, whether you practice the system or not, but a system avoids the confusion they get at an initial stage. I was so excited to know about it that I immediately started researching it. These are the two methods I found interesting and useful to Indian families:

1. One-Person-One-Language (OPOP): As you might have already guessed, in this system, both the parents decide which language they want to communicate in with their child. E.g. If parents have different natives, they can choose to speak in their respective native. Mom will speak in her native and Dad in his. I didn’t find it useful for us as we both wanted to talk to her in Marathi as well as English.
2. Minority Language at Home (ML@H): So in this system, you speak your native at home and specify rules on when and where to use a second language. E.g. Speak native during weekdays and speak a second language on weekends, or have regular conversations in native and make special slots to speak a second language such as bedtime stories, fun activities, TV shows/cartoons, etc.

We have chosen a mixture of these two for A. Everyone in the family speaks Marathi with A; except her uncle, who has always been talking to her in Hindi. She did play that look-in-to-the-eyes-and-stare-until-you-hear-them-speaking-Marathi game initially but now she is familiar with him and his Hindi.  So basically he is her Hindi trainer who will only be speaking Hindi and A will be encouraged to answer him in Hindi. My SIL, S, and I speak English when we are alone with A, because – a. We don’t want A’s grandparents, who don’t know much English, to feel left out & b. You know the benefits already!

Choosing the right system is not everything. There are many other things you need to work on while raising a bilingual or multilingual child.

• Plan – You first need to decide whether you want your child to learn other languages as second/third or you want both/all the languages to be his/her first languages. Choose the plan accordingly.
• Start early – Choose the system you want to follow and start implementing it right away. Starting young is the best but it’s never a delay to learn anything. Now is younger than later.
• Make it fun – Your child will never learn if he/she is not enjoying it. You can buy games, play cartoons, read books in a second /third language.
• Family – Make sure your family supports your parenting rules (not just this language rule, but all of them). Rules can be flexible but what is important is having them set.

So, yeah, this is what we have started doing with A. She will take time to adjust to this new system, she will continue staring at our faces for a few more days, and maybe throw her toys (also my phone!) on our faces (Can’t really tell you how much she loves doing it!), But hopefully, it will pay off in the long run.

Hope it will help you too in raising your child in your multilingual family, as everything I have shared is what we are actually practicing. Do let me know if you have any ideas. I would love to hear from you!

You may also like to read: Equal Shared Parenting | My idea of Equal Parenting | Does it really exist?

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